Poo sites are (not so) friendly grossout material replete with crude and often misspelled anecdotal humor, recycled jokes of dubious origin, and pictures of real life poo. I've long felt that a pooping dog is one of the funniest jokes nature can tell. Even more funny is that someone gets to clean up the dog's mess. Misshapen/questionable toilet entities are equally funny. I suspect that the encouraged perception of doo doo (and wee wee) as disgusting is a mostly western phenomenon, a post-Victorian pretense that "ours doesn't stink." We should be far away from it as soon as possible. Perhaps this is rooted in cumulative experience - maybe the village idiot played in dookie and caught a disease. Perhaps it's an adaptive trait - like animals, we generally poop away from where we eat and sleep - or both.



Poop does stink, sometimes. Sometimes there is no smell at all, but the poo happens to form a letter or symbol, which triggers the Alpha-Bits portion of the brain and causes us to pay attention. Or maybe I'm just wired wrong. In any case it's part of our existence and deserves some observation and a few laughs.

Some sites and searches of interest, none of them safe for work (but none of them are hardcore, either):
http://www.mrpoop.com
http://www.poopreport.com
http://ratemypoo.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-WVC2JsJ9o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awxu9NdpxFo
http://images.google.com/images?&safe=off&q=pooping+dog&btnG=Search+Images
http://images.google.com/images?&safe=off&q=poopy+pants&btnG=Search+Images

Cakes are yummy. For my birthday this year, my wife felt the need to get me two.
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Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.

I love the Tim and Eric Awesome show. I also love David Cross, and I don't mean love like "I love that afghan mom knitted me when I was twelve", I mean I love to grease him up with melted butter and canola oil and let him rape my face with his bobbing, angry tumescence. That thing is RED, did he shoot coke in it or WHAT??? Holy ouch David Cross! J/K HUGS BAIIIIIII!
Anyhoo, here is my homeslice David Cross appearing as a guest on the Tim and Eric Awesome Show.

http://prweb.com/releases/2007/12/prweb590791.htm

cDc's Ninja Strike Force Member to Appear on Court TV Series

"Tiger Team" follows elite professionals as they expose weaknesses in physical and computer security systems.

New York, NY (PRWEB) December 23, 2007 -- Court TV is scheduled to air back-to-back episodes of its new series, "Tiger Team," on Tuesday December 25, 2007 at 11PM EST. This verite action series follows Tiger Team -- a group of elite professionals hired to infiltrate major business and corporate interests with the objective of exposing weaknesses in the world's most sophisticated security systems -- defeating criminals at their own game.

Tiger Team is comprised of Security Audit Specialists Chris Nickerson, Luke McOmie and Ryan Jones ("Lizzie Borden" of CULT OF THE DEAD COW's Ninja Strike Force) who employ a variety of covert techniques -- electronic, psychological and tactical -- as they take on a new assignment in each episode.

ABOUT COURT TV
www.courttv.com

Court TV®, a Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. company, provides a window on the American system of justice through distinctive programming that both informs and entertains. Seen in 86 million U.S. homes, Court TV Networks(TM) is comprised of Court TV News(TM), which provides live trial coverage in daytime; Court TV: Seriously Entertaining(TM) in prime time, featuring investigative drama, expert reality and compelling nonfiction series; and Court TV Extra(TM), a subscription Web-based service offering viewers an interactive opportunity to watch multiple live trials on the Internet, while accessing the tremendous resources of Court TV Online(TM). The Court TV Web sites can be accessed via www.courttv.com and www.courttvnews.com.

ABOUT THE cDc's NINJA STRIKE FORCE
www.ninjastrikeforce.com

The Ninja Strike Force (NSF) is an international group of artists, programmers, and activists operating under the aegis of CULT OF THE DEAD COW (cDc). NSF members are the best of the best in their chosen fields.

ABOUT CULT OF THE DEAD COW
www.cultdeadcow.com

CULT OF THE DEAD COW (cDc) is the most influential computer underground group in the world. The cDc alumni list reads like a Who's Who of the computer underground and includes a former U.S. presidential adviser on Internet security, among others. This secret society is further distinguished by publishing the longest running e-zine on the Internet [est. 1984], stretching the limits of the First Amendment, and fighting anyone or any government that aspires to limit free speech.

###


That's tonight! I expect divx copies to start making the rounds by tomorrow morning - a late but perfect Christmas gift for anyone interested in security, poking holes in corporate attempts to protect assets, social engineering, and action-packed night vision cam-tography. I can't wait.

You must watch them all in order or it doesn't count! Let these holiday songs melt your frozen, jaded heart. *MWAH*

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Merry Christmas, y'all!

Is holiday consumerism irritating you like like a nagging anal fissure? Are you slowly falling downward in a guilt spiral, convinced that you're not spending enough on your loved ones for Xmas? I am.

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All that aside, I hope each and every person who might read this has a wonderful Xmas holiday and eats way too much. Celebrate your friendships, tell your family that you love them, and check on the old folks that live a couple doors down. Give yourself a pat on the back for making it through another year.

Link courtesy of Pavel! Funny diving faces on some Russian site, made me giggle.

August 3, 2007

My wife, stepson, his great aunt, and I arrived at the train station in Norman, OK early enough to look around for awhile before our boarding time. There was a bronze monument to the actor James Garner that didn't exactly resemble him (but had a huge package) and a plaque with a list of his television & movie roles, his Nascar racing team, etc. He's a cool guy, promotes reading, and Maverick and The Rockford Files were both good television shows. A local artist had several glass and ceramic works decorating the restored station, and there was coffee and chairs and a nice restroom.

Eventually boarding time came and went. Amid the general confusion that is a volunteer-attended train station in a college town, we figured out that our train (the Heartland Flyer) had broken down in OKC the day before and we'd be picked up in lushly accommodated charter buses for our trip to Fort Worth. This screwed up our day in a number of ways. Firstly, my 8-year old stepson really REALLY wanted to ride the train, and was hell-bent on letting everyone in earshot know the extent of his displeasure. Secondly, instead of winding rivers and restored train stations our trip milestones were truck stops and trips to the restroom in back of our bus. Our conductor (who rode the bus with us - hey, we're his job) suggested the possibility of riding the Flyer on the trip home, as they'd hauled the engine to TX to repair it.

Our original arrival time was to be around 12:45pm or so, which would have allowed for a little more time to enjoy old Fort Worth than we finally ended up with. Our bus arrived at the FTW station at 1:50PM. Our departure was scheduled for 5PM.

So what do you do in roughly 2 and 1/2 hours in Fort Worth, TX? Visit the Stockyards National Historic District. It didn't feature the typical stockyards smell - cowshit - but maybe the breeze was from the wrong direction that day. What we found were cowboys and longhorns, native americans in war paint, several live music venues, about a hundred thousand gift shops, and lots of restored buildings. The old stockyards station had a huge (couple blocks) roofed area over shops, the Stockyard Steamer train, and Riscky's Barbecue - almost 80 years in business. Out on the street the all-encompassing white out that is the sun in the great plains hit like a brick to the face, so upon discovering the station and the prospect of lunch and air conditioning, we stayed in this general area. We didn't want to stuff ourselves with barbecue and then try to walk in the heat so we settled for burgers and iced tea at Riscky's. We got good service and great burgers and kinda didn't want to leave. There was the prospect of beer to go (yay, TX!) but I didn't want to pass out walking in the sun so we skipped that and stuck around the main street for the afternoon bull run. Twice a day, several head of longhorn cattle are marched up the street by a team of drovers on horseback, mere feet away from terrified tourists with cellphones and cameras. Very cool, and no poop (maybe the steers had a bathroom break before the show). The kid got his picture taken sitting on Pecos Bill, a very relaxed and snacky longhorn steer, and I walked up the street looking for sidewalk stars of famous Texans. I found James Bowie. We browsed the gift shops for an hour or so (did I mention that Texas is super tourist-friendly?) searching for giant belt buckles and cow skull jewelry. No luck there, but the kid found a scorpion-in-lucite paperweight that he had to have, and before we knew it we had to hoof it back to the nearest metro bus stop and ride back to the Amtrack station. The "T" (Ft Worth's metro bus system) was easy to figure out, on time, and not overcrowded. A "T" day pass is less than five bucks.

Upon returning to the Amtrack station we were informed that we would be riding yet again on charter buses back to Norman. We pulled out of the station at 5pm sharp, and proceeded to inch through rush hour traffic for an hour before we finally got out of the city. Happy to digest our meal, cool off, and relax with mp3 players, we all quietly watched the same scenery from the morning go by in reverse order. I think we finally got back to Norman somwhere around 9pm that night, a little disappointed since there had been no train but still thrilled with the short time we'd had exploring the stockyards of Fort Worth.

As a bonus, I only tripped once on the way to the restroom at the back of the bus. All in all a fun day trip, if extremely short on free time. Next time I go, I'll plan on staying the entire weekend.

Things I didn't get to do that I wanted: Rep the c0w on bathroom walls like I do everywhere I go, and find an affordable dead cow talisman. Of course cow skulls were for sale, but they were a little pricey and might not make a comfortable pendant or belt buckle. I didn't see calf fries on the menu at Riscky's, but they were available at another restaurant by the stockyards (I've had them at the Cattleman's Steakhouse in OKC before). Next time...

For the win, we're taking a day trip to FTW, TX by train later this week. Hopefully we'll get to see the afternoon cattle run at the stockyards. I'll be on the lookout for giant belt buckles and calf fries! If there's anything silly you've ever wanted a picture of me doing in another city, now's the time to tell me :P

Icky, black, negative energy is everywhere lately; watch yourself. Stay centered and don't take the bait.

Vuze is neat, but too much DRM. I’ll stick with Democracy on Ubuntu, as long as it doesn’t break.

For my 37 and 1/2th birthday (June 12), I received an awesome diagnosis from the doctor a couple of days ago: hypertension. See, last Thursday I came home from work feeling like utter crap, and laid down for a few minutes to relax. Except I noticed my heart was beating funny. I had a headache and it seemed like my heart was pounding pretty hard, so I asked my wife to listen to my heart with a stethoscope. She verified that the rhythm was a little goofy, and called my parents. I tried to be as still as possible for the next 45 minutes until they arrived, automatic blood pressure monitor in hand. The first reading was 174/94. Holy macaroni, that was after I'd been basically sitting still for an hour and a half. Mom lectured me a little bit about my diet, smoking, and told me I should lose thirty pounds. I tried controlled breathing and positive thinking to lower my blood pressure, and over the course of an hour it eventually went down to around 140/85 or so. My parents convinced me I wasn't about to die - they've both dealt with HPB to varying degrees for awhile - and I agreed to make an appointment with a doctor. I got to visit the doctor the following Tuesday (June 12).

The doctor asked lots of questions, like "Are your ankles swollen? Would you be out of breath climbing a flight of stairs?". They hooked me up to an EKG machine to get a base reading since I'd never had one. Of course the machine and the doctor agreed my EKG looked normal. My blood pressure was still high though, so the doctor prescribed an ACE inhibitor to keep my blood vessels more dialated. I hadn't had caffeine for five days straight at that point, and I'd recently been drinking up to two pots of coffee over the course of a day. I wasn't having withdrawals, so I decided to stay off of caffeine for awhile and see if that helps. The doctor said I should be doing moderate exercise (walking) and watching my diet. The diet will be the hard part there.

I've only taken the prescription med three times, and already the diastolic pressure is ~20 lower on all readings. I hope the systolic pressure will follow suit as the ACE inhibitor has some time to work.

It might sound silly, but I'm pretty glad I didn't have a stroke or something. I haven't exactly gone out of my way to take care of myself - I smoke, and I pretty much eat whatever I want. After my 30th birthday I noticed the holiday weight hanging on a little longer each year until I'd worked my way to my present weight of about 200 pounds. I could stand to lose 20 pounds regardless of blood pressure. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me; my metabolism won't be speeding up as I age.

The best part of all of this is I already feel more relaxed after cutting caffeine out of my diet. I think I'd forgotten how to get a good night's sleep. Here's to hoping my heart continues to beat for a long, long time.

In honor of my official geezerness, here's a current pic:



Cheers!

Just want to say a humble thank you to the entity that knocked over a stack of books and a paper shredder in order to reunite me with my long-lost battery charger. Also thanks for knocking stuff over while my family was asleep and freaking the dog out, that was a nice touch. Maybe you like doing dishes too? Let's communicate!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mothers_of_Invention

Heck yeah.

"Not feelin' the graphite shade of your TI-84 Plus Silver Edition?" Swap the faceplate, fire crotch. DUH.


One Laptop per Child wiki

"...the high costs of laptops has been artificial and perpetuated, not innate. It is fair to say that OLPC has broken this spell and companies like Intel are following it."

Gosh, I hope so. Hopefully these things become ubiquitous enough that folks won't kill each other for them. This project looks seriously awesome.

(3 times fast)
He busts his cysts against the roasts and still with fists debriefs the hosts.
hilt wrapping

Accessing the Intornuts from a cellular phone for awhile, and it's kinda unwieldy. It helps me resist the urge to binge-browse anywa